So, I’m trying to work out where I’m at, two years into the 2010s. Back in 2002 I was a parent of two very young children, three years married, was a new homeowner, working a day job that I enjoyed and tinkering around with working at Locus. Ten years later I have two near teenage daughters, am thirteen years married, am living in the same house which now needs maintenance, have been acting in a job for 18 months that I don’t enjoy but feel I can’t escape, have been reviews editor at Locus for a decade, have edited over 50 books in one capacity or another, have been podcasting for two years, and am pretty tired out and stressed.
I’ve touched on this before, but I’m not really listening to much new music, not getting to do things I enjoy, and am even struggling to focus on reading because of my commitments. I know I need to change, but I can’t work out how I want to/need to restructure what I do to make things work out.
Sounds like you’ve differentiated the candle and are now burning it at infinitely many ends. (You’re not alone in that.) Hang in there. Your hard work has not gone unnoticed. An anthology with your name on it is automatically on my must-buy-and-read list. If you need to cut back on some things for a while in order to take care of yourself and your family, your friends and fans will understand. As to what those things should be, I can’t begin to say. I am confident, however, that you will be able to figure that out.
In the days when Asimov’s had a lively forum, I once posted a question, meant for Gardner Dozois, asking what the duty to read thousands of stories did to his enjoyment as a reader. Gardner didn’t answer – understandably, perhaps, because I’m sure he didn’t want to say anything that sounded less than enthusiastic about the stuff we all love. But let’s put it this way: at times like this, I’m sure you understand the question, and the difficulties of answering it.
What gives you the most joy? Start there – then figure the rest out.