Dear blog,

It’s my birthday today. I’m 43. I have a long complicated, and not entirely happy, relationship with my birthday. I don’t know if I could explain why, even if I tried. It has to do with a combination of a history of weird birthday disasters, some kind of internalised Capra-esque ideal of the day, and the pressures of a family eager to finally get it right and make me happy. It seldom works, of course, which isn’t their fault.

Today started just before 6am when I got up and immediately dived into trying to finish my Locus recommended reading essay, which has been sitting awaiting completion for a few days. I then had a small, and very, very sweet family breakfast. At the most superficial level, I got a rock and some candy from Marianne and the girls. More importantly, I got a lot of love. The girls had both put a lot of work into handmaking some cards and stuff, so it was really, really special. Marianne made some raspberry pancakes for breakfast, which can’t be a bad thing. I then started to feel a bit off colour, jetlagged almost. The cricket was delayed, so I went off to get the mail, and arrived home feeling a bit so-so. When I got back I had 200,000 words of proofing waiting for me, which was a fairly happy thing. Of all of the projects I’ve done over the past ten years, this is the one I wish I’d walked away from six months ago. Anyway, the end is in sight. Since then, there was some weirdness to do with lunch, and now blogging.

I’ll also mention that normally this is the blogging high point of my year. I post a lot. This time I’ve simply been too depressed to want to inflict my views on you. Why depressed? I’m tired, less than fit, and not getting enough downtime. I’m determined to change this. I’ve just stopped proofreading Locus after six years (I’m still reviews editor), which is a relief. I’m going to restructure a few other things, as well, to make things work better. Although 2006 was hard, it certainly wasn’t bad. I had four books published. CHARLES and Locus really stood up for me and published my two years bests, and then there was Best Short Novels: 2006, and Eidolon 1. And this year will be busy too. I’ve got my year’s best with Night Shade in March, Best Short Novels: 2007 from the Book Club in May and Prime in September, The New Space Opera from Harper in July, the best of Bruce Sterling from Subterranean in August, and the first of a new original anthology series for Night Shade due in October. I’m also assembling Godlike Machines, a novella anthology for the Book Club, and hope to see The Starry Rift finished and in print by January/February 2008. I remain very proud of and protective of my role as Locus’s reviews editor, and will be over for World Fantasy in November. Hopefully by then things will be simpler.

Hope your holidays were good, your year simpler, and that 2007 is huge for you.

Best,
Jonathan