I keep hearing about how good this England* side is — once-in-a generation players, incredible talent and so on. Blah blah. But here’s the thing — pretty much every time I’ve seen them play they consistently fail to bring it. Not just here in the 2025-26 Ashes, but most every other time. They’re great when things are going their way, They’re great when the conditions are good. But when things get hard, when it’s ‘game on!’ time, they don’t come together as a team. They don’t play great cricket. Mostly, they kinda waft about and fail, looking for some magic quick fix solution that usually doesn’t work. Or they’re sitting around hoping for some magician (ie. their captain) to save them.
And what of Stokes? There’s no doubt Stokes is special. An honest-to-god Test cricketer of quality with the spirit to play the game. A credit to England and the game. And Root? A terrific batter, though for mine a bit overrated. After that? Not so much. Not consistently. I see Stokes supporting the team again and again, but I don’t see them supporting him.
England are 2-0 down in this series because that accurately reflects how they played as a team. They had one and a half good days, and that was it. Could easily have won in Perth. Could probably have won in Brisbane. Both are tough, but the Australian team was at its weakest due to injury etc. And yet they couldn’t focus, couldn’t come together, couldn’t put in the hard yards, do the hard stuff where you knuckle down and play the percentage game so you can turn the game your way.
That’s why I doubt they’ll do a lot better in the next three Tests. Not because Australia will be fielding progressively stronger sides (though they will), but because I think this is who this England team is. A bunch of almost-good-enoughs led by genuine champion relying on extraordinary rescues to save them rather than skill and application.
It may not be 5-0. There could be a draw somewhere if the weather gets in the way, but likely it will be. This isn’t the greatest Australian Test side I’ve seen — that was probably Waugh’s Australians — but it’s a good side. Great bowling unit, top keeper, and a frankly unsteady but sometimes brilliant batting unit. That’s enough to do the job because as a team they do everything England does not.
* Test cricket.

A Conventional Boy
Picks and Shovels
Death of the Author,
Hammajang Luck