For as long as I can remember,  my birthdays have been weird, a little fraught, a little difficult. I do not really enjoy them. Maybe it’s because I was born in a leap year, or maybe I’m difficult, or maybe I don’t get why everyone wants to make a fuss. Maybe it feels a bit like a test I’m going to fail. Who knows?  But something usually goes wrong, someone or someones usually go away upset, and the whole thing feels stressful.

Even when I have a good birthday — and I’ve had good ones — they are complicated. Maybe it’s because I don’t really like to celebrate the things I do or make a big point of things that put me at the centre, but birthdays sort of make me uncomfortable.

So, it’s my 60th birthday tomorrow and there was a possibility of there being a huge fuss, which I was concerned about. Mostly it made me think about how everyone else would feel, how they would react, the chance for people to be hurt or offended. And so, a year ago, for the first time I took a little control.

I booked a place for lunch — a brewpub we like that isn’t special, but we’ve been to a bunch and is fine and not too expensive — and have mostly discouraged gifts (I honestly don’t want much at this age).  Keep it low profile. Don’t make a big fuss. Don’t spend a lot of money on the whole affair. Make it something we can get through without too much drama. And that’s what I’m hoping for tomorrow — not too much drama.  If I get through the day with that it’ll be ok.

Was up early, had some breakfast, and then did some novella editing. Afte that, well, Sunday, New Year’s Eve, was a little stormy.  The family was due to go to see the musical &Juliet, tickets having been acquired as part of Marianne’s birthday this year.

For some reason, the eldest took it into her head not to be part of this, so after a lot of disagreement she remained at home. This meant that three of us  headed off to the show, while one stayed home (though ultimately had lunch and spent time with her grandma).

We got to Crown about 11.30am, had a very unspectacular lunch at The Merrywell (like so many places now, overpriced and mediocre), before taking our seats. The show – a jukebox musical that posits Will Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway arguing over the ending of Romeo & Juliet – was amusing fun with a bit of bite to it. Probably the weakest musical we saw all year (after Kimberley Akimbo, Hamilton, Hadestown, Merrily  We Roll Along, which we saw in New York), but still fun.

Then home via nan’s, where we had an unexpected dinner of Christmas ham, lovely salads etc, and got to say Happy New Year.  We got home around 6pm and some idiot who shall remain unnamed left the sprinklers on all night, which will no doubt  show up on the water bill. After that, a quiet evening, an annual rewatch of Carrie Pilby, and then the annual exchange of lists, and bed.

A good day, all in all. The following morning was a little more difficult. I started with a Zoom call with Liza about this year’s Locus Recommended Reading list, which is almost complete, and then a few hours editing that novella, before a very pleasant lunch with Marianne at Leederville’s The Servo (a rare outing for just the two of us), before heading home.  Tomorrow is my 60th birthday, which I feel little enthusiasm for, and then after that, the return to work.